Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Reflections

Are we humans really the most advanced form of living form on this planet?

I wonder.

The level of thinking and evaluation for us had evolved so much that sometimes it makes me think that we are scary creatures. Just look at the people who use underhand methods against others, those who kill thousands just to make a point, those who have no hesitation/second thoughts whatsoever to backstab/terminate/destroy whatsoever others just to get to what they want.

What is happening to integrity?

Take the red pill and enter the real world, my friend.

We cannot be a kid forever, believing what we want to believe. There will be a time when everyone has to grow up and step into the real world. It's just so different from the sheltered world we are so used to. I'm lucky in a way that I was gradually exposed to it and saw it in different stages. Some are not. They get thrown right away into it and are for a moment struck dumbfounded as the reality hits them square in the face. Some take it in their stride, pick their asses off the ground and continue to move on. Some don't. They sit there and wonder what's going on, shutting themselves off from the world, drowning in tears of self-pity/disbelief, refusing to accept any comments which seems ridiculous/unbelievable to them. Pick yourself up, I say. Life still goes on. Time and tide waits for no man. Well said.

Certain humans are really two-sided. I've seen many examples who on the surface praise another person to a godly status only to turn around to condemn the same person to the level of the lowest form of living organism in the surface of Earth.

How many of you have actually done something like this? Perhaps, I'm guilty as charged. I've complained many times to others about this person whom I can't stand his/her behaviour behind their back. Yes, when I do speak to these people, I do it with a smile. My rationale is simple: I don't wish to make more enemies than what I already have. Perhaps in the past, I would have reacted differently, but now at this age I certainly don't have the privileges to behave like a kid anymore. On the other hand, the people I like are generally not well-liked by other people too. These people I noticed normally have very few close friends.

Be thankful that we are capable of thinking and leading a life which we want. Would you prefer to be like a mayfly? Buried as an egg later a larva for years only to emerge to live for a few hours just to mate, lay egg and die? The life is yours, you can take control of it. Do it.

This brings me to a point which my friend and I were joking about the other day.

Do you think that person is weird?
If a person is weird, would he/she declare him/herself weird?
So if a person declares him/self weird. Is he/she weird?
If a person thinks everyone around him/her is weird. Who is (are) the weird one(s)?

Why is it they are not well-liked? Was I influenced by others who had low opinions of the person? I guess not. I make a friend based on what I see. Ok, I can't help it if someone is constantly very nice to me while he/she is actually backstabbing me. If you are, please continue what you are doing. Do't let me find out. Let me continue to live in my world of deception.

What will I do if something like that really happen to me? I seriously have no idea. Hurt, betrayal, disappointment? A melting pot of emotions I guess. Imagine the person you respect the most as a teacher/mentor who turns out to be a paedophile? What about the sister whom you love a lot who turns out to be a whore? I cannot imagine.

I haven't really got to a point where I actually discover that a close friend of mine or someone I deeply respect had been all the while backstabbing me or is actually another person which only exists in my wildest imagination. I hope it will never happen. It would be, in my case, a gross misjudgment of character. Friends, I figured, are very important people in your life. Of course your family is the most important without doubt. Your friends are the one who encourages you when things are down. A good friend will cheer his/her best to cheer you up no matter what. Your friends are going to be the one who will meet up with you in you in your twilight years, reminiscing about the good old days. They will be the one gathering and remembering you at your funeral, your family included. Most of us are closer to friends than relative right?

I'm lucky to have friends who share my interests. I have friends who criticize me, my playing in a constructive way. This encourages me to make myself a better person and oboist alike. I have friends who I know can sit there with me and talk about anything on Earth for hours. I have friends who I see online so often and yet chat like there's no tomorrow. I also have friends who I don't see for ages and yet I'm able to converse with them effortlessly like we've seen each other only the previous week. Similarly, it's also my misfortune to have lost a few friends through misunderstanding of which some could have been avoided, including one recently.

My friends, I'm really grateful for all these words of encouragement and companionship you all have given me. I really am.
fjozn at 11:08 AM